Diary Entry #1

Hi there!👋

I am back again, with something new. *These are purely just my thoughts. Take what resonates and leave the rest! Thank you!* During my walk back home I had an inspired thought to create an achievement board so that I may learn to be proud of myself for the things I have accomplish. These are a few things listed down here.💁👇

Achievements

• Getting first in my Cohort and class for one Whole Year, SA1 n SA2, in Secondary 1, a HUGE achievement, considering I used to be below average in my primary school days. I remember how resilient I was then to do my best, I wasn't aiming to be first just to fulfill my highest potential, half of the remaining year then things went a little sour though. People tried competing against me and they felt a few others whom consecutively scored high marks in other tests should have been first and not me. It was then that my depression got more serious and I started thinking of quitting school. Things got more stressful for me at 14 when I was put into the Express class, and had a misunderstanding occur with the student exchange. I remember how strongly I had felt, it was immense fear just stepping into that school and I pray no other youngster would have to go through that. Or at least after going through that to awaken and re-connect to their highest calling in life. Transmuting pain into love and service for self and others in that way.🌸😉

• Being the first to reach climbing up to the Pagoda Palace in China, Tibet I believe. (can't remember exactly) This was when I was 18 during November/December I think. I was on a retreat with my mum then with Seeds Mind Academy, 富足人生. Some of us from Singapore, a few others from China. I wasn't the first to go up the steps/stairs however I was the first to reach. Quite amazing since I thought I couldn't do it but pushed myself anyway. I am someone who doesn't exercise much and has quite poor stamina. However my resilience and perseverance can shoot through the sky the moment I challenge myself and commit myself to it. I never like doing things halfway because I'd end up feeling regret with myself when I was so close to something haha!

• It has definitely served me in times of crisis and despair and times when I was on verge of suicide or just taking that one more step to jump off a building or railing. Not to say I don't have suicidal tendencies, because I still do however I've learnt ✨💛unconventional alternative methods to help myself. Some include, Meditation, Intuitive Movement (for self-expression) and Journaling / Automatic Writing (for getting clarity on my life, inspired thoughts, like what I am doing here, almost similar!)

• Something I am currently doing/achieving is known as Water Fasting. It is a Process where one does not eat anything at all and just drinks water, Only water for days. One can do this up to 2 weeks or more if they have a certain exercise regime and spiritual practice (Meditation/Yoga/Mindfulness,etc.) to maintain the connection of Mind, Body and Spirit. I personally am doing this only for 3 days as I had done the 1 and a half days before and I am starting to challenge and accomplish my goals by taking one step at a time (Jordan Sparks 😆) and slowly, step by step, as time goes on I will finally reach my goals. I am curently on Day 3 hehe, gonna end soon!^^ Wish me Love 💞 I operate better when I am the one challenging and comparing myself to myself and having no external forces or opinions hindering me. I realize that is exactly what stops me, when I let others opinions affect me, or bring me down. Never let others opinions affect WHO YOU TRULY ARE! YOU ARE A UNIQUE BEING, HERE TO FULFILL YOUR HIGHEST POTENTIAL AND SOUL'S PURPOSE, DO NOT LET ANYONE TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU! YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE, YOU ARE ONLY RESPONSIBLE TO ONE PERSON, THAT IS YOURSELF! LOVE THYSELF AND ALL WILL BE WELL~ TAKE CARE MY LOVELIES!😍💜

• Last but not least, I walked home from AMK Hub to the front of my door step, Took me an hour but so fulfilling! I had walked 3km! (I came across the lane for the connecting Parks from Punggol to Jurong! Used that as my gauge hehe~) And honestly that is a BIG thing for me! I had always wanted to do that but didn't cause I was always so tired. I did it yesterday, 28th April 2019! I was also actually already quite sore from my workout at the FightZone with all of it's rounds and all. I had pushed myself and made sure I did NOT give up! If only the instructor had not rushed me, I would've reached the 5.0 calorie mark on the bicycle. I was at 4.8, so close! I did not manage to do the bur-pees and all of the sets in 3mins which was the requirement in each round, but I finished doing all of the workouts even though I took more time than the others. I had to take breaks and rest in between so that my breath and body could continue to push on. It was embarrassing because the glasses were see-through and the elderly as well as kids were watching me, gosh! But, it did not stop me from finishing up all my sets! I even burned 520 calories which is Above Average for first-timers! Ain't that amazing! I am still considering whether to sign up, since they did not offer Muay Thai classes which was what I was looking for originally, but the people are great, especially the female participants! My attachment tendencies seem to be seeping in hehe~ 💟

• Something I learnt from this experience was that I can literally DO ANYTHING I SET MY MIND TO! The only thing I seem to be afraid of is comparison, so judging myself that I had not done a certain thing within the same time limit as others tends to hold me back quite a bit! However, now I understand that my strengths lie in accomplishing anything beyond what my mind tells me and the limits I set on my body. To be able to rest once in a while because my mind and body is still adjusting DOES NOT mean in ANY WAY that "I AM A FAILURE" ! In fact, it means that I KNOW how to PACE MYSELF APPROPRIATELY to get the BEST AMOUNT OF SUCCESS that I CAN ACHIEVE. It does seem pretty extravagant how I am emphasizing this point. It is purely for myself belief that I AM TOTALLY WORTH IT, TO BE SUCCESSFUL! It is also to let you guys know that YOU GUYS ARE TOTALLY WORTH IT TO BE SUCCESSFUL TOO WHEN YOU SET YOUR MIND TO SOMETHING!💪

P.S. Just to share a continuation of the story from Yesterday, I came across wondrous flowers and plants and even helped move a Rat who's passed on, it was in the middle of the road, I would love for the world to love their environment and animals more, currently it is still difficult to do I guess! Saw lots of rubbish and even slippers as well as drinks all thrown near the road of the under-head pass of the highway too. Guys, Let's all do our part for the Environment, for the sake of seeing beautiful plants and cute animals thrive yeah! :)🌷🌼🌺

After that, I was playing with my hands and arms, just moving them and I saw how the Yin-Yang are all in our everyday lives. It is even within our bodies and not just in our Spirit. I noticed how both arms embodied both the Yin and the Yang when they one was pushing and the other was pulling, and vice versa. It was an amazing sight to see and I had come up with a small song to it as well. It had words of "the Sun and the Moon, Play" and "Yin & Yang"! In fact, why not come up with your own song from those words? It will be fun :3 🌞🌚

God Bless every soul whom has read my post or even just clicked on this blog! Thank you for reading and Namaste!🙏🌈

Peace Out ☮ My Loves! 💋
Hugs & Kisses💖😻